“It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Love is a choice and marriage is ‘til death. But the divorce train stays full steam ahead. Something isn’t connecting. Television, movies and social media celebrities/influencers hold some responsibility in stoking the fire. Every day we unknowingly throw on rose colored glasses and scroll instagram. I remember when my husband and I were going through a rough patch that felt so mundane & lonely, and all I could think of is, ‘why don’t I have a marriage like @insert_person. They always seem so happy & their marriage seems easy’… which is untrue, because they’re humans.
Love is a choice and choosing to love unconditionally will ultimately sustain a marriage. Feelings are fleeting & at times, deceiving. Seasoned married couples practicing fidelity, understand this and with every ounce of their being fight for their marriage despite feelings. Feelings just sweeten the love.
I truly believe if future and current couples went into marriage with this mindset, they not only would know the weight of the commitment they’re making, but their feelings wouldn’t take the lead in their decision making when tough times come crashing into their marriage.
I am in no way the perfect spouse. I make mistakes every.single.day. I don’t have all the answers, but this I do know: my feelings do not override my love for my husband and commitment to my marriage. When you believe love isn’t just a feeling and marriage is permanent, it will be the most life-altering, sharpening and self-reflecting relationship you’ll ever have. Oh yeah, and the joy! Deep, rich, lifelong joy!