It’s funny- the older I get, the more I see that it’s not the quantity of friends that I have that matters, but the quality of friends I have. This couldn’t be more true once you get married and real life hits you in the face. It’s when things get difficult, uncomfortable and painful that our deepest, truest friendships rise from the ashes.
Having a loyal & trusted girlfriend who will hold you accountable, encourage you, be honest with you, pray for you and still support your marriage no matter how much you or your spouse has messed up is essential for the health of your marriage when the going gets tough.
We all have the friends (I can’t be the only one…)
The ones we go to who will tell us what we want to hear and go all MAMA BEAR and say “SCREW ‘EM!” when you’re hurt, let down or disappointed. That will probably give you advice out of an emotional response and not based on logic & a deep understanding of the sanctity of marriage. While these friends love you deeply and want the best for you, their advice may not be what you need to hear when issues arise in your marriage.
Then there are ones that will tell us what we NEED to hear, regardless if its what we want to hear. They’ll come along side you and be loving, but share the hard truths we know deep down inside.
Having a trusted confidant aside from your spouse who has the same high view of marriage and knows our strengths & weaknesses is important for the health of your marriage.
No, this person shouldn’t be a substitute or take place to the intimacy, closeness and friendship you have with your spouse, but essentially someone who will be your sounding board & voice of reason when times get tough in your marriage.
Social media, mass group texts, the current close girlfriend at your weekly yoga session or sometimes even your mom, aren’t necessarily the best places to seek counsel and accountability in your marriage IF you want truthful & unbiased advice.
Every marriage has rough patches and Lord knows we all fall short and will make mistakes that hurt one another. Instead hitting send on that text or post airing our own or our spouse’s dirty laundry for all to see, know, hear and pass judgement on… consider only sharing with one trusted friend who will support your marriage and still love you & your spouse no matter how messy it will get.
If you have that person in your life, let them know how much you appreciate them today. If you don’t know who that person is in your life, pray that God would reveal that person to you. Friendships are important in marriage and in life. We weren’t created to do life alone or isolated.